Posts tagged civic
Posts tagged civic
You know how people say keep your black cats inside around halloween? Cat was in the window watching things like normal, we hear a crash, realize someone fucking shot a marble through the glass. They were a bad shot so the little dude is fine, but bailed too fast for us to even get a glimpse. Don’t know if they slingshot it and ran or shot from a car, but they were GONE within 20 seconds of impact.
APPARENTLY INSIDE KITTIES AREN’T COMPLETELY SAFE EITHER.
Please, all, watch out for your black cats!
The actual fuck? I don’t understand why anyone would try to hurt those little darlings.
Signal boosting like the wind.
All of a sudden I’m glad we live in a third-floor apartment. And yes, signal boosting.
I have a friend who works as a vet tech. You don’t want to know the real stories she has about black cats around Halloween. She told me to keep our black cats inside a full week before Halloween.
You want to do this.
Oh my fucking god. I wish I had never learned about this, but since now I have, reblogging to let everyone know to keep your cats safe.
I saw someone post this on NYCC’s FB group with a warning and decided to bring it to tumblr’s attention just in case
New York/tri-state area cosplayers and other NYCC attendees please beware of this individual and his “Referees of Cosplay” crew
these jerks have already shown up at AnimeNext this year filming fat cosplayers to make fun of them in their shitty YouTube videos and creeping on female cosplayers
If they come for me, I am fucking decking someone
Signal boosting. I hope they get what’s coming to them.
BOOST. Only thing that makes me sad I’m not going is that I don’t have a chance to find these guys and personally kick them in the balls.
WARNING, 100% chance of fat shaming douchebags for NYCC this year.
Junot Diaz - on cultural representation in our world (via eshusplayground)
When Strangers Click, a 2011 documentary about online dating.
It reminds me of that famous Margaret Atwood quote: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” It also reminds me of something written by one of the mods of Sex Worker Problems: “Misandry irritates. Misogyny kills.”
I mean, it’s just true.
“Misandry irritates. Misogyny kills.”
That’s it. That’s it right there.
NO ONE WILL GIVE YOU THE EDUCATION TO OVERTHROW THEM // Save City College March, San Francisco, CA // July 9 2013
Adapted from the Assata Shakur quote, “No one is going to give you the education you need to overthrow them. Nobody is going to teach you your true history, teach you your true heroes, if they know that that knowledge will help set you free.”
What do you say to people who say, “we’ll just have to agree to disagree?”
Response #1 (The High Road): “‘We’ll just have to agree to disagree’ is a thought terminating cliché that implies your argument is on equal footing as mine. It’s not, and if you aren’t willing to defend your position any…
So a thing happened to me yesterday on the BART as I was coming home from work. (And no, it wasn’t a Sharknado…mores the pity.) Maybe I’m just rewriting history or trying to make a story fit in this the context of this blog…maybe, but I really, honestly think that what happened did so (at least in my case) because I am a writer.
You see, as a writer, I am also a reader—a big crazy, prolific-as-shit reader. I’ve read two or three dozen articles my friends have linked over the years on women’s experience with creepers on public transit—usually with some sort of commentary attached to it by said friend along the lines of “ZOMG THIS!!!!” or “SO FUCKING TRUE!!!!” I’ve read Schrodinger’s Rapist, Rape Culture 101, Jezebel articles by the dozens (perhaps hundreds), and even my own friends’ tribulations on BARTs and busses. I even read that article (which I can’t find now) that lays out a well reasoned case that our culture’s entirely fucked up sense of consent and rape culture exist naturally as an extension of the same mindset that cause women to be afraid of being blunt and honest when they get cornered in public by someone they’re not interested in. [ETA- One of the commenters knew the piece I was talking about. It’s called Another Post About Rape.]
And in reading all these things I’ve come to be aware of a narrative. An everyday narrative almost as common for women as “the train pulled into the station, and I got on.” It’s not that no one but a writer could be aware of this narrative it’s just that in a world where tragically few are, that was my gateway.
It is the narrative of how men hit on women in public places. A tired old story if ever there were one. A story where consent is not a character we actually ever meet, and where the real antagonist is not a person, but rather the way she has been socialized to be polite, to be civil, to not be “such a bitch”….no matter how much of a Douchasauras Rex HE is being about not picking up the subtle clues. Yes, a human being might fill the role of the immediate obstacle—and in doing so personify the larger issue, but the careful reader of this tropetastic narrative knows the real villain is the culture that discourages her from rebuking him in no uncertain terms lest she be castigated. (And that’s the best case scenario; the worst is that she angers someone with much greater upper body strength who may become violent.) The real antagonist is a society where she is actually discouraged from being honest about what she wants…or doesn’t want. And the society that socialized him that it’s okay for him to corner her…pressure her….be persistent to the point of ignoring the fact that she has said no.
I saw the heroine of our story sitting on the BART. The train wasn’t busy in the afternoon along the “anti-commute” line, so it was only a few of us spread out far and wide. She was thin but not skinny and wore one of those wispy skirts that always make me want to send God a fruit basket for inventing summer. The kind of woman my step-father would have gotten distracted by and then grudgingly called “a real looker.”
But what is much more important that I noticed, because I’m all writerly and observant and shit like that, is that everything about her screamed “leave me alone.” She had headphones jammed in her ears. Her nose was down in a book (my hand to God, I think it was Storm of Swords). She was pulled inward with body language that couldn’t have been more clear if she had one of those shields from Dune…activated.
But still….he tried.
He sat right behind her—already a warning sign on such an empty train.
The real antagonist may have been society, but our personification of it was well cast. He had a sort of Christian Bale look about him, if Christian Bale were playing a role of a douchecanoe. Revisionist memory is always suspect, but I’m telling this story, and I’m going to stand by the fact that I thought he looked like a creepy guy long before he started acting like one.
He waited until the train was in motion to make his move—a true sign of someone who knows how to make the environment work to their advantage. Then he leaned forward. ”Hi.” ”How you doing?” ”What are you reading?” ”What’s your name?” “I really like your hair.” “That’s a really nice skirt.” ”You must work out.”
It was painful to watch. She clearly wanted nothing to do with him, and he clearly wasn’t going to take the hint. Her rebukes got firmer. ”I’d like to read my book.” And he pulled out the social pressure. ”Hey, I’m just asking you a question. You don’t have to be so rude.” She started to look around for outs. Her head swiveled from one exit to another.
The thing was, I had already heard this story, many many times. I knew how it would play out. I knew all the tropes. I probably could have quoted the lines before they said them. I wanted a new narrative. Time to mix it up.
So I moved seats until I was sitting behind him. I leaned forward with my head on the back of his seat.
"Hi," I said with a little smile.
He looked at me like I was a little crazy—which isn’t exactly untrue—and turned back to her.
"How are you doing?" I asked.
"I’m fine," he said flatly without ever looking back.
"I really like your hair," I said. "It looks soft."
That’s about when it got…..weird.
He sort of half turned and glared back me, and I could tell I was pissing him off. His eyes told me to back the hell away, and his lips were pressed together tightly enough to drain the color from them completely.
But no good story ever ends with the conflict just defusing. He started to turn back to her.
"Wait, don’t be like that,” I said. ”Lemmie just ask you one question…”
"What!" he said in that you-have-clearly-gone-too-far voice that is part of the freshmen year finals at the school of machismo.
And I’m not exactly a hundred percent sure why I didn’t call it a day at that point, but…..maybe I just love turning the screw to see what happens. I gave him the bedroomy-est eyes I could muster. ”What’s your name?”
Right now I’m sitting here typing out this story, and I’m still not entirely sure why I’m not nursing a fat lip or a black eye. Because that obviously made him so mad that I still am not sure why it didn’t come to blows. There are cliches about eyes flaring and rage behind someones eyes and shit like that that are so overdone. But it really does look like that. When someone gets violent, their eyes just kind of “pop” with intention—pupils dilate, eyelids widen. And his did. Even sitting down he was clearly bigger than me and I was pretty sure he was kind of muscular too, so at that moment I was figuring I was probably going to need an ice pack and sympathy sex from my girlfriend by day’s end.
"DUDE," he shouted. "I’M NOT GAY."
That’s when I dropped the bedroom eyes and switched to a normal voice. ”Oh well I could see not being interested didn’t matter to you when you were hitting on her, so I just thought that’s how you rolled.”
(Of course later, I thought of a dozen cleverer things I could have said, but, I’m going for honesty here. I was tripping over my own words due to the adrenaline dump. My voice was probably shaking too, and I’m guessing the line above was more shouted than said with even, level, movie-caliber cool. I am in no way a badass.)
But whatever I said, or however I said it, it did the trick. I don’t know if he “got it.” I don’t know if he just thought better of committing assault in front of the BART cameras. I don’t know if he just didn’t want to escalate past bravado. But whatever went through his head, he turned back in his seat, sat back (away from her) and muttered “asshole.” And that turned out to be this story’s climax.
What I do know—and this made almost getting my clock cleaned worth it—was that the denouement was quite nice. She mouthed the words “thank you” to me as she stepped out the door of the Rockridge station.
Yep. Worth it.
I don’t want to steer too close to the idea that no one but a writer could ever do what I did because that’s obviously not true. Anyone could and more men should. But what I do sort of think is that I was aware of that narrative because I am a writer. Others might get it for other reasons, but I got it because I am a writer. I knew the tropes and the cliches and the tired old lines. I was aware of how to create a role reversal in the “typical characters.” I’m aware that most men don’t know what it’s like to be hit on by someone they’re not interested in who won’t take their hints. I look at things differently. I see the world from another angle. I think what would happen if we told this story from another point of view. And sometimes, not often—but sometimes, I can change a narrative completely.
And I’m going to go ahead and say that too (at least for me) is because I am a writer. - See more at: http://chrisbrecheen.blogspot.com.au/2013/07/changing-creepy-guy-narrative.html?m=1#sthash.2KmSrQaB.dpuf
Sidenote on that post about boycotts I reblogged: I love the phrase “hocus pocus logic” and will be using it in the future. It’s so perfect, way better than abusing/appropriating “voodoo” to disparage this kind of thing, especially since etymologically the phrase “hocus pocus” may come from a…